Why Friendship Matters More Than We Think

There are some people we can go weeks, months, or even years without seeing, yet when we finally sit down together, it feels as though no time has passed at all.

The importance of these connections is all too often underappreciated but consistent studies demonstrate they are one of the strongest predictors of long-term health and happiness as we go through life.

These relationships of course are called friendships — something we can frequently treat as an optional extra, fitting them in around the constant demands and distractions of modern life.

The relationship hierarchy

Romantic and family relationships tend to occupy the top two prominent positions in the hierarchy of relationships.

This isn’t a problem necessarily but if friendship is neglected and comes in a very distant third, it can have a profound impact on our mental health.

Making and sustaining friendships tend to come more easily for us in younger years with the help of social structures such as school, college, university and basic geography.

But as we get older and before you know it, these relationships can change or end suddenly, without any fuss or acknowledgement, like a silent grief.

We take different life paths, careers and family take over and the closeness you once had with a friend or friends slowly fades.

Less screen time more friend time

The great paradox of the digital age is that we are more connected as a society than ever before but lonelier than ever. Almost one in four adults in the UK report feeling lonely often, always or some of the time, according to ONS data published at the beginning of 2026.

We meet up in-person far less than previous generations and even speak fewer words on average each day than before.

Research published in 2026 found that the average number of words people speak each day fell from 16,632 in 2005 to 11,900 in 2019 — a decline of around 28 per cent across the USA, Mexico, Australia and Europe.

The age of convenience means we can more easily go about day-to-day life with less need to interact in-person with anyone.

People opt to communicate via WhatsApp than pick up the phone. You can order a takeaway, book your next holiday, food shop or a taxi all via your smartphone.

The art of small talk, a very simple and effective way to build connections, is a diminishing form.

Where the geographical proximity to friends should allow youngsters to spend more time outdoors with friends, changing habits mean they spend more time interacting with friends online.

Friendships across most demographics have shifted from a shared physical experience to a more digital one.

And whilst this isn’t asocial, it’s noteworthy that one in 20 young people (aged 11-24) in 2026 having no close friends, up from just one in 100 in 2014, according to an Institute for Public Policy Research report.

And when it comes to the hierarchy of relationships, there’s a not-so-new disruptor in town — our relationship with smartphones, as screen time increasingly comes to affect the other relationships in our lives. Scrolling is prioritised over connection.

But it doesn’t need to be this way and if we really care about physical and emotional wellbeing, friendship and generally connecting more in-person with others should be prioritised and maintained.

Friendship – the secret to health and longevity

As I mentioned earlier, the benefits of friendship become more pronounced as we age, influencing not just how happy we feel but our longer-term physical and mental wellbeing.

The emotional influence of family relationships tends to remain consistent through a person’s life, whereas the health and happiness benefits of friendship rise continuously with age.

Because we can choose our friends and have greater autonomy over the relationships we maintain in adulthood, these unique bonds can support our health and wellbeing in ways that are difficult to quantify.

When people living in care homes are asked what helps them retain a sense of meaning and purpose in later life, it’s often the friendships they have forged and maintained that matter most, whilst not discounting the importance of family visits.

Making time for what can’t be measured

We live in a very goal-orientated, optimised culture where we constantly try to curate the seemingly perfect way to live.

Digitally we can now measure and monitor almost every aspect of our health — from our sleep and daily steps to our heart rate, calories burned, stress levels and recovery.

But you can’t optimise your way to a better ‘friendship outcome’. And perhaps that’s part of the problem. We live in an economy increasingly built around capturing our attention through screen time and online engagement, whilst our personal data is repackaged and sold back to us in the pursuit of ‘better life outcomes’.

Amid this relentless drive to optimise and measure various aspects of our lives, friendship can too easily become that optional extra.

We spend so much of our time trying to build healthier, happier and more successful lives but forget about one of the most important things we can do, which is simply to make time for the people we want to share that life with.

Friendship offers something you can’t measure on a smartphone and isn’t dependent on the next dopamine hit. It provides something far more nourishing – meaning, a sense of belonging and, ultimately, better health.

And when life feels heavy, friendship can give us all laughter, perspective and a freedom to tap into parts of ourselves that often get lost amid the relentless pace and pressure of modern life.

Comedian Jimmy Carr once said that we really only have two things in life. Time and attention. It stayed with me because, what we choose to do with both our time and our attention really does matter. And one of the best things we can do for our mental health is to give more of both to the people who matter, including our friends.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Why is friendship important for our mental health?

Friendship gives us something that can easily get lost in the pace and pressure of modern life: connection. Having people we can talk to, laugh with, share experiences with and turn to when life feels difficult can help protect our mental health and give us a sense of belonging, perspective and meaning.

Does friendship become more important as we get older?

The benefits of friendship can become increasingly important as we age. Life changes, careers develop, children leave home and family circumstances evolve, meaning some relationships that once came naturally can become harder to maintain. The friendships we do maintain can therefore become an important source of companionship, meaning and wellbeing.

Can smartphones and screen time affect our relationships?

They can. Smartphones and social media can help us maintain relationships, especially friendships, particularly when distance makes meeting difficult. But our time and attention are finite. When scrolling, online engagement and screen time begin to take priority over spending time with the people we care about, these relationships can suffer.