Therapy is a very dynamic process and the below is a short overview of how I work and what I provide – although therapy is better felt than explained.
“Therapy should not be theory driven, but relationship driven.”Irvin Yalom.
I believe the true mechanism of change is through the relationship.
Although I have extensive theoretical knowledge to assist me in the therapeutic process, it is the connection to my clients which is most vital.
At the end of the day we are two humans sitting together with each other (online or in-person) exploring your own unique thoughts, feelings and experiences.
You need to feel safe, secure and comfortable enough to do this in a trusting relationship and confidential setting.
That secure, trusting space is something I aim to provide for you.
From here, clients can gently move towards feeling open enough to fully explore their thoughts, feelings and ways of being.
I am often told by clients that my warm, gentle manner allows them to quickly settle into our therapeutic relationship.
I would hope this would be the case with you because it is what enables real growth and change. It also ensures you get the most out of the work we can achieve together.
If you do not feel we fit as a therapeutic partnership, then that’s okay. There is no long-term commitment, and I will try and point you in the direction of others who may be able to help you.
We are all unique.
The best approach to therapy isn’t found in a manual or a classroom because everyone’s life stories, journeys and experiences are so unique.
Healing through therapy should not be standardised for everyone. A new therapy must be invented for each of us.
Indeed, when manualised, self-help techniques and Apps are put to one side, therapy truly begins.
Change can take time and often the slower you go the faster you get there. However, I don’t demand any long-term commitment from clients because there’s no recipe for living that suits all.
As your therapist my aim is to listen to your presenting issues, help you understand yourself better and make positive changes in your life.
In our sessions we will talk about what is going on for you right now and if relevant the impact of past life experiences.
Linking past and present experiences can lead to huge personal growth and insight and develop your self-awareness.
“The shoe that fits one person pinches another. There is no recipe for living that suits all”.Carl Jung.
Finding Your Way.
You know yourself better than anyone and I will let you lead me during our therapeutic journey together. This ensures the work we do is pressure-free.
Some modes of therapy are more directive/interventionist in nature (e.g. CBT) but it’s not how I approach therapy.
I don’t tell you what to do or offer my opinion (we get enough advice/opinions on the outside world, some useful, some very unhelpful and destructive).
I help you work through issues and figure things out. This way of therapy can boost people’s self-esteem, self-awareness, their overall sense of self and increases confidence.
On occasion, however, I may empathically point you in a certain direction or ask your permission to explore certain areas which I believe may be helpful.
In my personal experience, I feel much better and more confident when I work things out for myself (both in personal therapy and in everyday life).
I will not set you any homework or tasks, but you will notice that the work we do does not end when our sessions end. A big part of the therapeutic experience is how you are able to reflect on what we explore in sessions, internalising the experience in a positive way.
Past shapes our present.
As mentioned above, it may be useful to explore how your past has shaped your present life.
When I say the past, it could mean exploring things which happened yesterday, in the last few days, weeks or months, as well as earlier adult or childhood life.
Being curious about your past (and associated thoughts and feelings) and not judging yourself during that process can be a really healthy part of the work.
Your past and present are often linked but sometimes it’s not until therapy that you are able to appreciate and understand that dynamic.
This exploration can be extremely freeing and rewarding. It can help you understand why you are feeling the way you are today and often, the present can speak of past pain.
Understanding our own defenses.
As humans we have this great ability to unconsciously push out of awareness painful thoughts and feelings because they are too much to handle.
For the most part this defensive mechanism is useful because it keeps us safe.
In our work together it may be useful to explore these unconscious processes, defences and our life patterns.
The reason for this is because very often the things that we store away beneath the surface (away from our conscious) are the things which are actually impeding the quality of our life. You don’t even know it, but they may need your attention.
Gently unlocking these internal processes during our work can feel like a pressure valve being released. Clients often say they feel so much more alive when achieved.
It is Your Time.
The bottom line is, you deserve some time to focus on your needs and goals in the presence of a compassionate and empathetic listener. I aim to provide this because today’s modern life is full of distractions, making it so much more difficult to work on our own wellbeing.
Taking care of your mental health is just as important as taking care of your physical health.
Investing in your own mental wellbeing not only improves the quality of your life but the quality of your relationships with others.
And at the end of our journey I would hope you would have developed the self-awareness and capacity to better manage the thoughts, feelings and life experiences which you may have been struggling to cope with before.
The benefits and value of our work can be carried with you for the rest of your life.
And for me, being a small part of someone’s life journey in therapy is always a privilege.
If I can help you or someone you know, then please get in touch.
Below are some examples of why people come to therapy.
The list is not exhaustive and seeing a therapist doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. I believe anyone can benefit from therapy. It should be a proactive not a reactive decision to invest in your wellbeing.
- Seeking clarity in some areas of your life
- For personal growth and development
- Improve your relationship with others and yourself
- The impact of the COVID-19 pandemic
- Excessive worry
- You are being too hard on yourself
- Lack of general fulfilment and meaning
- Everyday difficulties that hold you back
- Abuse (emotional/physical/sexual)
- Confidence/self-esteem issues
- Family problems
- Feeling stuck
- Feeling sad/excessive worry
- Loss or bereavement
- Health issues
- Significant life events/changes (e.g. separation/divorce, redundancy, menopause, retirement, merging step-families).
- Perinatal mental health issues
Some people do not know what their issue(s) is and enter therapy to try and find out.
Whatever the reason it can be a hugely rewarding and enriching experience.